Friday, May 28, 2010

You Know You Miss Your Blog When..........

(alternate title: you know you're pathetic when...)

1. Within 10 seconds after every major event (well, let's face it: after any event that causes you to open your eyes, or perhaps shift slightly in your chair, or perhaps come to a sudden stop as you are walking) you think
' i should be blogging about this!'

2. you dream about it. and in this dream, blogs are made of chocolate. (or, for some of us---scratch that---you; nicotine.)

3. An email from a fellow blogger and friend, requesting that [ insert blogging persona tag here.] <----- *this is key to inducing the appropriate emotional response*   sends you into a roaring sobfest.....

Until finally you visit "Home."   That little orange B in the corner looks to be a handshake, extending itself to you, saying warmly:  Welcome Back.

And so here I am.
Most of you are probably wondering how the new job is going. It's going quite well! There are no Cube Gooses to spoil my day. But I've discovered a different breed of Cube Creature.

Cube Kate Gosselin. She's in her early... to mid....forties, Though it's hard telling, what with her overly Fake and Baked Skin, which could either be adding or reducing years all at once. There's her way-too-young-for-her-outfits, which only makes her more elusive in the wild. And last, but not least, there is her signature Katie G. hairstyle, which she has no problem introducing to you as such, just in case, you know, you don't watch TLC. But who on earth doesn't!!?

Am i fitting in with her well? Uh... no.  I can't keep up with all the reality tv she watches.  " Did you watch the bachelor last season??" she may ask. To which I reply. " No, but Bait Cars has been having a stellar year."

And it seems she hasn't taken too kindly for my apparent lack of interest in all things D list Drama.
I wasn't there for more than 2 days when she began 'talking smack' (as the kids like to say) about me.

So it's official:  There is a special breed of Cube Goose no matter where you go. So far, I'm just happy this one doesn't eat an entire bag of chips for breakfast in the morning, followed by a gallon of chocolate milk and a 12 pack of coke.  But if she starts wearing extensions and taking salsa lessons, we're going to have a problem.


  1. Kate Gosslin scares the shit out of me.

    And I am a horror movie buff, and hardly anything scares me.

  2. oh dear lord. what a lovely new friend you've made!
    and thanks for gracing us with your presence, it's been awhile!

  3. Welcome back Tiger, you've been missed

  4. Cube goose doesn't seem to fit here. How about cube poodle?

    Oh, and your blog asked me to tell you it misses you too.

  5. Her hair looks like a goose laid a golden sh** on a rooster comb. Now *that* is some cube goose!